pantryslut | (no subject)

(no subject)

Remember that "Canadian parents raise gender-free baby" story that broke a week or so back?

It's really interesting to see the contrast between the news stories and what one of the parents has to say directly. Yes, it is.

Also apropos, remind me to tell you how I discovered today that my kids apparently fail to attain certain developmental markers around gender. Funny that, eh?

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One of my grandchildren had a report card in kindergarten with the "no" checkbox for the category, "Knows if he/she is a boy/girl" (clumsy wording approximately remembered). There was one other child in that kindergarten with a similar mark, who was a friend of that grandchild. In fact, each of those children knew perfectly well his and her own gender; they just weren't going around broadcasting it to everyone else. The two kids were not the same gender as each other, but each assumed that the other was what they were until a birthday party involving swimsuits.

I don't know how the other kid is these days, more than a decade later, but my grandchild seems normally eccentric.

Thanks for the link. It's reassuring to read what she says: it's not reallyu that different an approach from my own.

My son for a long time preferred bright pastels, grew his hair long, and incorporated Strawberry Shortcake dolls into his play with dragons and wizards. He never had a doubt about his own gender, but he had looser ideas than average about what was appropriate for his gender (not as loose as Jazz, apparently). He took some crap for it as a small child. As a grown man -- well, he's a grown man. He no longer prefers bright pastels (he prefers orange, period). He doesn't have anything remarkable about his gender presentation -- but -- this is crucial to me -- he has no need to dictate other people's presentation, orientation, behavior,or self-definition. He's comfortable in a non-binary world. Which seems doubly important, given his career choice: he'll be in a position to positively affect the lives of patients who don't fit into strict categories.

There are developmental markers around gender? wow, that seems fucked up!

Yes: do they use gendered pronouns correctly? Do they know the difference between "girl things" and "boy things"? Do they know if they are a boy or a girl?

And yes, kinda fucked up.

(answers: no, no, probably.)

I think I probably score as Yes, No, Uncertain.

(though I do know a lot of the "what people think girl things are" and "people think I'm a girl.")

Heh. My kids fail that line in the ASQ, too. And I'm proud of it.

Whenever I dress A in something not unisex, I call it "gender markers" - especially hair ornaments.

Free To Be You & Me strikes again!

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