Yeah. I stopped doing things with "bisexuals" when all we had in common was bisexuality because I discovered that wasn't really very much in common at all - especially when that's their primary identification. I'm bisexual kind of like I'm bipedal, it's just a fact.
And this whole "scene" "community" whatever? Being kinky isn't enough in common, being queer isn't enough (though it's closer), being a gender activist, fat activist, whatever single facet isn't enough.
But that doesn't mean there isn't a "scene" or "community" that I'm part of - I think there is. It's just a lot smaller and harder to find than FetLife. The "articulate, reality-based, gender queer, sex positive, kinky, witty ..." well that's a start - that community, that scene. That's the one I belong to.
But another part of the problem with FetLife and online communities in general, is that for me, it's not enough that *you* might consider yourself part of that community. If I were to create a community that claimed to be for people having all the characteristics I describe above, it wouldn't work. Anyone who actually HAD those characteristics probably wouldn't join, and anyone who did join probably wouldn't have those characteristics.
Bottom line? I think there is a "scene" that you (and I) are part of - but you aren't likely to "find it" online. At best you might find some leads on people worth meeting. Mostly we're left with word of mouth, and kissing a few frogs to tell each other about the ones who aren't.
no subject
And this whole "scene" "community" whatever? Being kinky isn't enough in common, being queer isn't enough (though it's closer), being a gender activist, fat activist, whatever single facet isn't enough.
But that doesn't mean there isn't a "scene" or "community" that I'm part of - I think there is. It's just a lot smaller and harder to find than FetLife. The "articulate, reality-based, gender queer, sex positive, kinky, witty ..." well that's a start - that community, that scene. That's the one I belong to.
But another part of the problem with FetLife and online communities in general, is that for me, it's not enough that *you* might consider yourself part of that community. If I were to create a community that claimed to be for people having all the characteristics I describe above, it wouldn't work. Anyone who actually HAD those characteristics probably wouldn't join, and anyone who did join probably wouldn't have those characteristics.
Bottom line? I think there is a "scene" that you (and I) are part of - but you aren't likely to "find it" online. At best you might find some leads on people worth meeting. Mostly we're left with word of mouth, and kissing a few frogs to tell each other about the ones who aren't.