Holding hands isn't a sexual act. Hugging isn't a sexual act. Laying one's head on a partner's shoulder isn't a sexual act. Even a light, closed-mouth kiss on the lips isn't a sexual act. I see those as "intimate" or "romantic" or "familiar" acts much more than sexual.
I don't mind those acts at all, I feel pretty safe saying.
Touching breasts or genitals is sexual unless you're blotting a stain or something. Kissing with tongue is sexual. Straddling a partner's lap is sexual. Pulling someone's hair in a kinky/power play way may be sexual. Spanking someone on the rear may be sexual.
I don't want space around me sexualized unless I've chosen, knowingly, to enter a sexual space. That's why I react VERY strongly anymore to people doing D/s stuff around me - I am a non-consensual participant if I'm being made into a witness.
I feel like the line is not about partner gender or flavor of sexual play - it's about whether the acts are intimate/romantic/familiar or whether they're sexual. I don't want straight vanilla people humping in my space any more than I want gay kinky people feeling up breasts.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-05-01 05:30 am (UTC)And I'm biased, being queer.
Holding hands isn't a sexual act. Hugging isn't a sexual act. Laying one's head on a partner's shoulder isn't a sexual act. Even a light, closed-mouth kiss on the lips isn't a sexual act. I see those as "intimate" or "romantic" or "familiar" acts much more than sexual.
I don't mind those acts at all, I feel pretty safe saying.
Touching breasts or genitals is sexual unless you're blotting a stain or something. Kissing with tongue is sexual. Straddling a partner's lap is sexual. Pulling someone's hair in a kinky/power play way may be sexual. Spanking someone on the rear may be sexual.
I don't want space around me sexualized unless I've chosen, knowingly, to enter a sexual space. That's why I react VERY strongly anymore to people doing D/s stuff around me - I am a non-consensual participant if I'm being made into a witness.
I feel like the line is not about partner gender or flavor of sexual play - it's about whether the acts are intimate/romantic/familiar or whether they're sexual. I don't want straight vanilla people humping in my space any more than I want gay kinky people feeling up breasts.