pantryslut

I seem to have caused a little controversy at WisCon when I offered up five minutes of baby holding for the Tiptree Award benefit auction. (I did what?! Yes, I did.)

I would just like to point out:

* While there are many things potentially problematic with what I did (and I think I was aware of most of them), issues of body autonomy, babies' boundaries, consent, and stranger anxiety are low on the list, actually.

* I (and the auctioneer) did not auction off anyone's "affection." I/we auctioned off time and access only. (The auction item card read: "5 minutes of twin holding." The rest is called "patter.")

* Those five minutes happened in full view of several hundred people including two of their three parents.

* I know these particular babies well enough to know that they would be OK with it. Different babies, or a different age, would be a different story. Different parents, likewise.

* No, I didn't know the winner. (It was not, therefore, an in-joke among a circle of friends that should have maybe been kept private. For more on that, see below.) I didn't know the woman who offered to hold April on the plane out, either. Yes, that's right, I have been known to let strangers hold my babies. I am a repeat offender.

* It's OK to be disturbed, made uncomfortable, or just downright creeped out by the idea. I was, in fact, kinda going for "funny and wrong (and ultimately harmless)." You wanna argue the last point, you can, but you won't convince me, so please don't do it here. Nonetheless, I am aware that there's an edge there that will be too sharp for some people. Your feelings are your feelings and you have a right to them, and that portion I will respect.

* However, I have been in the leatherdyke community long enough to have no truck with arguments about how we should refrain from certain forms of behavior because of what other people might think, and/or that it's triggery. Take care of your own triggers, please. There are many forms of feminism at WisCon; the kind that says "it disturbs me because of its surface similarity to oppressive stuff; therefore it should never be done in public" is not mine. I simplify a bit for the sake of a short blog post, and for that I apologize, but nor do I want to re-hash the Sex Wars over an auction performance in this space. Kthx.

Overall, I have to say, the hot mustard I fed to Simone on Monday night was probably way more traumatic, and my not tasting it beforehand more worthy of a "bad parent" rap. Fortunately, formula soothes the burn quickly.

P.S. Hi, I'm back!