pantryslut: (Default)
For the record, I am a good listener and super curious about everything and always want to hear all about it. This is why LJ has been so very good to me.

However, I am also shy, so how/when to ask the questions to start these convos often escapes me.


To top off this little social sundae, I was raised by, by graduate students who were too busy raising four kids plus pursuing their theses to actually, you know, have any friends. (At least once they stopped smoking pot.)* So I really have no idea how to make polite conversation. Even sincere polite conversation, much less small talk. I wasn't acculturated into any form or style of interaction. I wasn't acculturated at all...

I'm really good at answering questions, though, if that helps. And no subject of conversation is ever inappropriate around me :)

* Which happened, at my best estimates, around when my brother was born, so I was six. I was young enough and they were circumspect enough that I don't actually have any memories of them indulging, only circumstantial evidence. And a cute anecdote about my dad's hospital intake and my mom's shame, but even that's second-hand.
pantryslut: (Default)
Dear Readers,

I think it is fair to say that I consider this journal a work in progress. More importantly, I consider this *journal* as a whole "the work," and the entries in it merely chapters.

You can jump in any time, by all means! But some of what I say here depends on the context of previous entries. You will see me circle about something, revisit the same issues from a multitude of different angles, and you will see that I fill in the sketchy bits of some posts in later posts, and so on, and so forth.

Still, I consider the context important. Yesterday's small kerfuffle, which I mostly alluded to and which isn't really worth going into in detail, is what made me realize this.

I also realize, btw, that I have made it difficult to easily access the context of certain things by, oh, I dunno, not tagging my entries, or giving them titles, or the like. My bad. Maybe I will fix this going back, or into the future. I don't know. We'll see.

In the meantime, I am making this statement, and I am putting a version of it in my bio.

I really don't want to make this journal friends-only or not public. I am still sad about turning off anonymous posting, and I suspect that won't last. I like having this journal resemble an ongoing conversation that people can overhear, listen into, and eventually join.

But it's a good idea to listen for a while before jumping in. OK? That's all I really ask.

pantryslut: (freaks)
First, the obligatory disclaimer: this is not directed at anyone who has praised or complimented me lately. This is also not a criticism of anyone in any way. I accept all compliments and I try to do so with grace. (I may not always succeed...) Some I just take closer to heart than others. If you want an idea of how to get closer to my heart, here's how:

1. Say something other than "you'll do a good job." I know that. In fact, if push comes to shove, I will probably do a good job at the expense of my stamina and sanity. Tell me instead, for example, that I will still be sane at the end of it and it will be fun and rewarding in the meanwhile.

2. I like specifics. Especially when it comes to writing or performance, I like to know what works so I can do it again.

3. Also, if I ask, "why do you say that?" it means I'm really paying attention and taking you seriously.

4. I am suspicious of hyperbole and flattery. This comes from being a smart fat girl with big tits. (Really. How do you think creepy older men try to pick up smart fat chicks with big tits? "You're so smart. And so pretty. Can I touch them?" Uh huh.)

5. I think the greatest compliment may always be, "I missed you" or some variant. "I'd like to see you." "It was lovely spending time with you."

Anyone want to add any observations from experience?


Jun. 5th, 2007 08:06 am
pantryslut: (Default)
In no particular order (and edited from the original to add a few):

Frequently Asked Questions )

Any more questions? Go ahead and ask!


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