
Dear Miss April,
I love you dearly, but attachment parenting was not developed with twins (or, I contend, the nuclear family, but that's another issue) in mind. As such, it's hard to carry you around all damn day; your sister Simone needs attention too. Not to mention feeding and diaper-changing. And I like to take a shower, or a nap, or eat a meal, once in a while as well. Oh, and I'm also supposed to be pumping regularly -- for 20 minutes uninterrupted, using both hands -- to keep my milk supply up for you and your sister. Meanwhile, formula is expensive.
And although you have three parents, one of them went back to full-time work today and another one is job-hunting. Eventually, kid, it'll be just you and me and your sister, and I only have two hands.
Also, both the carrying and the sling put a lot of strain on my neck, back, and shoulder.
I think we will be buying you a swing forthwith. I wonder if it's worth paying for express shipping?
With unbounded affection,
Your faithful but rather tired mother.
ETA:
P.S. Don't you go and smile and then fall asleep in my lap while I read you this out loud. That's just not fair.