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Simone: "Can I change my name?"

Me: "What do you want to change it to?"

Simone: (thinks for a moment) "September."

Me: "April and September S--, huh? Hm."

G.: "Can we call you Sep?"

Me: "Sept?"

G.: "Sep."

Me: " 'Sup, Sep?' "

G. "Wassup!"

Me: "How about Ember? Ooh, I like that as a name."

G.: "How about Tem?"

Me: "Tem could work."

G.: "What about Septum?"

Me: "Heh."

Simone: "Uh, I think I'll just stick with Simone."

G.: "We just took her through a year's worth of elementary-school teasing in two minutes."