Speaking of seders

[pantryslut]

OK, I lied. I'm not attracted to celebrating Passover just because of the food (though the food helps). Nor the four cups of wine and resultant tipsy singing, as I told a certain someone on Sunday.

No, it's that I find the ritual and its complex of metaphors very moving, very powerful -- very renewing. No surprise; it's been field tested for the last several thousand years. It's food *and* a book. :)

We come from a narrow place, seeking freedom. Last year, I was in a narrow place, for sure. How much my life has improved in such a short time. But we have to learn what to do with our freedom, how to honor it, and how not to turn into oppressors ourselves. There's still work to do. That, in part, is why we revisit this every year. And this is just one aspect of a very rich, multifaceted text.

(And you all thought I was going to quote that bit about how love without criticism is not true love.)

I made the right decision in not hosting a seder this year. This way, I got to attend someone else's event, and all I had to do was chop and peel some carrots and be my sociable self. It's nice to go to other people's seders, read their hagaddah, sing their songs, learn about their traditions and hear their stories. I had a great time last night. I was totally crashing by the end of the night, but filled with a warm glow.

And visions of hopping wells. Miriam really had a well follow her around Sinai for all those years? It wasn't just me who envisioned the classic stone cylinder and wooden canopy, bouncing up and down like an eager puppydog, was it? I know they probably mean that a spring appeared magically wherever she camped, or something, but that's not the mental image I'm stuck with.

P.S. I didn't have a drop to drink. It was all sparkling apple cider for me; I am just naturally giddy :)

P.P.S. especially for black_pearl_10: if you *really* want to hear me sing, all you have to do is show up next year. Dayenu!

Comments

[kiya]

Ritual can be an amazing thing, can't it?

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

When it's the right ritual.

I have an uneasy relationship with ritual. It's one of the reasons I'm a lapsed pagan. I think the other element of the Passover celebration that I find works really well for me is that the ones I attend tend to be collaborative -- we go arond the table and everyone reads a bit, we stop and discuss, people interject, we add favorite bits and skip the parts that bore us, and that's all to the good. I think that rituals that are led by one person, who imposes a structure, tend to fizzle for me. And rituals that feel inflexible, ditto. And especially rituals that take themselves too seriously.

This is going to turn into a whole 'nother post if I don't shut my yap now.

[kiya]

I sometimes suspect that my religious quest (partially settled at this point, partially ongoing) has been in response to an intense need to find rituals that worked for me.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

It occurs to me that, unlike many people, I came from an explicitly nonreligious background as a child. Not an atheistic one, but a very anti-organized religion one. And that this has shaped my attitudes and uneasiness with a lot of certain types of ritual.

I also think it may be cliche, but being an S/M practiticioner has partially filled my need for ritual. I'm not a big formal leather person any more than I am a big formal anything else, but there's something about agreeing to and submitting to an ordeal, or agreeing to be the top for someone else's, that does speak to me, that works for me on a spiritual and not just a sexual level.