One More Kid Bit, Gender Politics on the Playground Division

[pantryslut]

Oh, yes, and the rumors are true: I laid the verbal smackdown on two seven-year-old boys at Fairyland. They were in line for the ferris wheel with their camp, behind a fellow camper, a girl. That girl was behind April, who was behind two well-behaved and friendly but very tall nine-year-olds. I note this so you will understand that my patient daughter was in a canyon and very much outmassed by her neighbors.

The two boys start persistently, relentlessly pushing themselves in front of the other fellow camper. First one boy, then the other slipped past her. She looked affronted, but didn't say anything. None of the camp staff even glanced over.

Then the two boys start shoving each other. They're battling over who gets the frontmost position now that they've successfully cut in line. Their shoving gets rougher, and rougher, and they start running into April and making her stagger. Still, the official camp caretakers don't even look, much less say anything.

So I say something.

"Hey, you two, stop shoving. You're running into her, and she's a lot smaller than you are so you need to be careful," I said, pointing at April.

They quiet down.

"And by the way," I say, "You cut in line. That girl was first."

They look at me. They look at their fellow camper. She looks at me. Then she silently slides past the two boys and retakes her former place in line.

A few minutes later, one of the boys says to her, "you cut in line."

Apparently he didn't notice that I was still there, because I immediately said, "No she didn't. I was here and I saw. You were the ones that cut in line. She was here first."

And they shut up and stood in place until it was their turn to get on the ferris wheel. I think I only got one dirty look, even.

Don't get me started on how this fits in with gendered patterns of proto-bullying on the playground. Boys don't have to use their words and if they push people out of their way, well, you know the canned phrase that comes next. I am not going to be a popular adult in kid spaces in a few years. (I am right now! I will savor it.) Angry Feminist Mom is Angry.

Comments

[vgqn.livejournal.com]

Well done!

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

You're my hero.

[touchyphiliac.livejournal.com]

@#(&*$(#@&*

Good for you for standing up for your kid, socially unacceptable as it increasingly becomes.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

You also did the boys a favor. People tend to forget that it is a child's right to learn how to behave and how to feel empathy and how to cooperate and even how to stand in line. Boys deserve not to be left to grow up into assholes.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I definitely feel that way when I interact with the three and four year old boys. Some of them look so relieved when I start supervising turn-taking without being particularly punitive -- as in, of course I'll let you take your turn, just not this second please, let this person who was here first go first.

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

Bravo!