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pantryslutI confessed to G. over dinner today some of my worries for my children and their immediate social future, informed by my observations of their interactions over the summer so far. (Or: four year olds are rough, man! And I don't mean physically.) These are the kinds of worries I really can't do anything about, so they just run their little routines in the back of my head. But sometimes it's good to give them an airing out. And to remind everyone that I am not always preternaturally self-assured but have that vulnerability thing too.
April is going to be the weird one. This isn't a worry, it's just fact. But I worry about what that will mean for her. I worry that she'll be lonely and isolated and won't have any friends. I worry that people won't know what to make of her very girly exterior and her very non-girly behavior, her physicality in particular. I worry about scapegoating.
Simone, I worry about her complicated gender throwing people off. But it may be that it only throws girls off (OK, and adults); I predict in fact that it's likely that Simone will end up being "the girl" (or, you know) and most of her friends will be boys. And I worry about the effects that status will have on her and her sense of self. I worry about her clear and intense need to belong to a group, to have lots of friends. I worry about her sensitivity to name-calling. (April doesn't care. She just gets impish in response.)
I think one key will be to mind the diversity, and another will be to attend classes and find activity buddies. Sports, too. Lots of sports. Sports and the library, that's my future now.
April is going to be the weird one. This isn't a worry, it's just fact. But I worry about what that will mean for her. I worry that she'll be lonely and isolated and won't have any friends. I worry that people won't know what to make of her very girly exterior and her very non-girly behavior, her physicality in particular. I worry about scapegoating.
Simone, I worry about her complicated gender throwing people off. But it may be that it only throws girls off (OK, and adults); I predict in fact that it's likely that Simone will end up being "the girl" (or, you know) and most of her friends will be boys. And I worry about the effects that status will have on her and her sense of self. I worry about her clear and intense need to belong to a group, to have lots of friends. I worry about her sensitivity to name-calling. (April doesn't care. She just gets impish in response.)
I think one key will be to mind the diversity, and another will be to attend classes and find activity buddies. Sports, too. Lots of sports. Sports and the library, that's my future now.
