Confession time

[pantryslut]

I've been losing weight.

It's been a gradual thing, but it's gotten to the point now where my clothes are suspiciously loose and I've taken to wearing belts. (I hate belts. My father, whom I otherwise love, used to constantly suggest I wear belts -- I think he was actually trying to support my butch leanings and teach me how to dress right, but I resented this particular suggestion just as much as I resented his instructions on how to hold a fork.) I forgot to wear a belt today, and my pants are sliding off my hips.

I've been reluctant to mention this. Partly because I very much don't want to be congratulated for it. It's just something that's happening to me. It's not a goal I've set for myself, it's not something I've worked for. I didn't change my diet or start a new exercise regimen. I'm actually eating worse than I was a year ago, but I'm also more active, and that I think accounts for the largest part of it. I don't think I'm more or less healthy per se than I was before. I don't feel more energetic, or prettier.

Anecdote time: In high school, I learned the hard way that I am allergic to sulfa drugs. I spent a week sacked out on the living room couch, almost too fatigued to chew. Not surprisingly, I lost a lot of weight (~7-10 pounds) in that short time.

A week later, my father took me aside. He had a very grave concern. He'd noticed I'd lost weight recently, and he was worried -- did I have an eating disorder?

"Dad!" I cried. "I've been horribly sick for days! I couldn't eat! That's why I've lost weight!"

Dad explained that he'd been anorexic in high school (it's true, you should see his graduation pic), and so maybe he was a little oversensitive on the issue.

I've never dieted. I've never tried to lose weight. And now it's happening anyway. It feels sort of creepy, to be honest. I'm in no danger of wasting away(!), but there's a small part of me that worries something's wrong.* Probably not. It's a nice, gradual, steady, slow weight loss, the perfect kind, medically recommended and everything. I'm just a little weirded out, is all.




*At least I know I don't have consumption. Negative TB test two weeks ago.

Comments

[i-ate-my-crusts.livejournal.com]

This happens to me, too. I don't diet, but sometimes weight falls off, and sometimes it accumulates.

When I'm lighter, I bewail the way my thighs and buttocks vanish. This suprises people, but I *miss* them when they're not there. I'm used to them. They pad my computer chair. And when I'm heavier my regular wardrobe pinches me in places I'd rather not be pinched.

Glad to hear its not medically related weight-loss.

[felicks.livejournal.com]

I hate losing weight. It's the only time I EVER think about what I weigh.

[redbird]

Unexplained weight loss is a possible symptom of enough things that if you have actually lost significant weight (rather than just turning fat into muscle, which might mean constant weight but smaller circumference), it might be worth talking to a doctor.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I had a physical about two weeks ago, and I did mention this to the doctor. She didn't seem particularly concerned.

I'll also check in with Planned Parenthood next week. One of the side effects of my birth control is supposed to be weight variation -- usually a gain, but a loss is apparently not unheard of.

[lcohen]

um. yeah. lots of this, except that with me, much of it was because there *was* something wrong (stress of buying out ex's half of the house led to inability to eat). it is so odd to get complimented when that's the reason you've lost weight.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Nobody's complimented me yet, thank gods. Really, the loss has been so gradual that I suspect my everyday friends have hardly noticed.

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

Stress about it as little as you can, okay? Bodies are complicated and unpredictable.