(no subject)

[pantryslut]

1. I have been having strange, intense dreams again. They veer wildly from friends of mine committing suicide, to concerns over empty toilet paper rolls.

2. My hormones are weird. (I do not speculate as to whether item #1 is related to this fact or not.)

3. I had a very busy weekend. Sadness, sweetness, friends, and football. I don't know if I'm ready to go into details yet.

4. We have tons of food left over from our Superbowl party last night.

5. Every single speck of the pretzel bites I made, though, are gone. I will send the recipe around as soon as I have a free moment to type it in. It's really easy! I am beginning to love the simple yeasted doughs, the ones that take five minutes of kneading, like the doughnuts and the pretzels.

6. I have been doing some difficult emotional work, but I think the rewards have been great.

7. I have decided that the core challenge of my life is this: I have a very strong personality, I am outspoken and blunt and bull-headed too...and I also have a great deal of empathy. So, it's easy for me to hurt people, but I very much don't want to. At the same time, it is not so fun to spend so much time feeling like I'm holding back -- one slip and there might be disaster.

8. Steven this morning said that the above sounded very similar to classic Claremont-era X-Men plots. Which explains a lot.

9. G. also pointed out some things about how both these things (the combination of these things?) are attractive to people. I think he referred to it as "the curse of being a leader," although it is hard for me to conceptualize myself as a leader :) And yet, there it is, conceptualized or not, I suppose.

10. Whatcha got for me?

Comments

[irontongue.livejournal.com]

What I have for you is a question: how do the personality traits you list in 7 mesh with your shyness?

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I think that the situation I describe is the exact engine of my shyness.

(Well, that and I am an introvert by nature.)

[billbrent.livejournal.com]

Word on item 7. I pull a lot of punches too.

[black-pearl-10.livejournal.com]

I think what I said was more along the lines of the "curse of being looked up to".

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

You definitely used the word "leader" at the time, but I think that what you said above is probably more accurate.

[cornbreadboi.livejournal.com]

"the curse of being a leader," although it is hard for me to conceptualize myself as a leader.

I understand this.

yeasty things amaze me. always.
I am about to embark on a yeasty project.
wanna be a taster?

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

wanna be a taster?

Yes, please!

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

#7 and #8, ditto and in spades. Also, quite eloquently expressed. We used to call it "High Priestess Disease."

Holding back all the time sucks proverbial giant syphilitic donkey penii. I generally find that it helps a great deal to find a consistently available and safe venue to let it all out on a fairly regular basis. Otherwise it tends to lead to smouldering resentment and nasty stains on the carpet. (This is kind of the non-sexual version of what I semi-ignorantly see as one of the attractions of the whole B&D thing.)

I also find that, if the pressure is not relieved on occasion, constantly monitoring my mouth to keep from hurting others leads, sooner rather than later, to an intense desire to hurt others because everyone but me is a puling wimp.

Remember that not everybody is as fragile as all that, at least not all the time. Finding people close to you who can at least occasionally be unbreakable for you, and identifying those occasions, helps a lot.

Also, it's great fun to find people who DESERVE it, and channel your evil mutant powers for the greater good. Heh. Very relaxing.