Since it's that time of year anyway.

[pantryslut]

Question inspired by someone on my friend's list:

What sorts of things -- gestures, presents, occasions, etc. -- do you consider romantic? Why?

I will give my answers in a later post. You first.

Comments

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

flowers.

ummmm. something that a person knew i would like or that i had said i would like and they got it for me as a surprise.

actually, that's it in a nutshell. something that someone knew i would like, as a surprise.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Thing is, mostly "romantic" is a concept that makes me recoil hissing.

Things that will touch me in ways that overlap with what seem to be most people's positive associations for "romantic": basically, anything that indicates that a person knows me well, has bothered paying attention, and has found or done something that I will actually appreciate. [ I come from a family background with very stringent rules about expressing gratitude for gifts being an expectation such that it is annoyingly hard to tell whether anyone actually liked something or not, and containing some people with a remarkable gift for appearing to pay attenting and getting gifts which have... the accidents of something one might like but not the substance. I have reacted strongly against this. ] In practise, that's most likely to work as a book or CD or DVD, or tickets for a play or an invitation to an interesting restaurant or something.

While precision is best, there's also a definite range that works in the "When subtlety isn't getting the job done you may as well go for glorious tasteless excess" direction; though I think I need to be settled in some practical ways to really appreciate that.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

There are certain flavors of romance that make me break out in hives, too. But I am coming around to maybe owning some of the quirkier, non-gendered, and possibly even non-partner-centric forms of the concept.

[stopword.livejournal.com]

Kalmn is onto it - anything that proved the person was thinking about me and tried to figure out what I'd specifically like.

For me: extravagant gestures (flower delivery at work), reading to me while I'm in the tub, going on a road trip.

I don't like valentine's day. It seems too contrived. I know this is hardly a revolutionary statement.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I don't like the pressure Valentine's Day puts on things, or the implication that we do this once a year only. And I don't like how hard it is to get dinner reservations (for this I hate Mother's Day, too), or the way the price of roses shoots up :P

I like chocolate and flowers, though. So there's that. I guess I am of the "any excuse for a party" philosophy these days (for broad definitions of 'party, you know).

[stopword.livejournal.com]

I'm in total agreement. I think chocolate and flowers and dinners out are wonderful. Every day of the year. Heh.

[black-pearl-10.livejournal.com]

Chocolate turtles, especially for sick boys. :)

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Noted. Things could be made to happen.

A more complete answer (giving and receiving), however, would be mutually beneficial, I think :)

[black-pearl-10.livejournal.com]

(giving and receiving)

Flowers and flowers :)

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

The classics are timeless :)

[doriankatz.livejournal.com]

Things made for somebody particular-- from friend to friend or lover to lover--
a cooked meal, a drawing, a story, a pirate map

Romantic to me is stuff that says, I saw this and wanted you to have it or I thought of this and wanted to make it for you or for you to try this food or see this painting or whenever I hear this song I think of you. It's stuff specific to a person or a cat or dog or mosquito etc, you think is special.

It can also be dirty or trashy things.

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I guess "romantic" is equated in my mind with "most likely to get me laid." For me, being surprised with things I love is the way to my heart... dinner (out or in), flowers, chocolate... LOVE the pirate map comment! We do little treasure-hunt gifts sometimes... elaborate (puzzles and and a big present) down to quick (a trail of post-it notes leading all over the house to a candy bar).

Last year, we attended a do at the zoo, where a zookeeper from Florida gave a lecture on critter sex, complete with photos and trivia. It was an absolute hoot! I thought that it was terribly romantic.

[rosefox]

Something that shows they were paying attention.

[meaning-making.livejournal.com]

My partner once cooked me the meal from Jeanette Winterson's The Powerbook. I swooned.

[abostick59.livejournal.com]

Slicing off one's ear and presenting it to the prostitute with whom one is enamoured.

Getting yourself killed in a duel to defend the honor of the person who rejected you.

Suicide pacts.

Receiving the keys to your lover's motorcycle from their hand as they lies dying from gunshot wounds in a hospital emergency room.

(Maybe this "romance" thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.)

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

But in at least one case, you get a motorcycle out of it.

Never thought about it before...

[fightingtiger.livejournal.com]

I saw an article today from MarketWatch called “From the heart: Valentines that will aid your love life and social conscience.” The most accessible thing they suggested was a donation. Or you can buy your baby a $38,000 Special Edition 2008 C350 Sport Sedan, complete with 268-horsepower and 3.5 liter V-6 engine. I wouldn’t turn one down if it was offered, but I’d know that that person didn’t know dick about me.

I agree with the general theme—something that shows they were paying attention at some point. They don’t even have to nail it perfectly; just get in the zone. More specifically…

Something made or grown by the giver or a journey:
Words talking about something special that I might not know about, extra points if homemade card. Being taken to a pretty place. Extra points if we can get there without gasoline. A plant. I like to read the things that people think but rarely say. Going to beautiful places lets me see it a little more from the giver's perspective and that helps me understand them more. I treasure those kinds of memories, much, much more than a car.

Things that help me back into my body:
Body butter, sexy pictures, a sexy story, being read to, nude beaches, hot tubs/saunas, dinner (buffalo wings, crispy duck, praline pecan or chocolate amaretto ice cream, steak with A1 and baked potato), nice smelling herbs, body work, a variety of kinky things, almost any music, workshops on topics of mutual interest. When I’m actually in my body I’m much more likely to be able to feel a range of things instead of my rather tiresome sense of duty, or futility, or undesired pain, or any of those other things that distract from the blessing of excellent company.

(Except for far away lovers who are totally ok to send racy emails or video or whatever, 'cause they’re far and coordinating shipping/ money/ timing can be difficult, I know.)

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

Paying attention.

[wingedcorset.livejournal.com]

Something that shows someone has been paying attention.

Surprises.

Time.