(no subject)

[pantryslut]

One thing I learned tonight, and one thing to ponder:

1. Working-class intellectuals are my people.

2. Why do parents who have adopted foster kids feel like my kin?

Comments

[rightkindofme.livejournal.com]

If you seriously want an answer I've got some speculation for you. :)

Foster parents have a more fluid definition of 'family'. They don't identify strongly with the nuclear family and they don't see any reason to feel stronger emotion for people based on blood or marriage (in general). Near as I can tell you really don't place the average amount of importance on blood/marriage ties. It sounds like you like your bio family a lot, but they aren't the be-all-end-all.

I'm also willing to bet that you feel somewhat alienated by the importance that people place on recognizable family. The fact that people question whether your kids are yours at all probably bothers you on an unconscious level even if it isn't a conscious problem. I think that the fact that your kids are mixed race plays into this heavily. You choose to not care about that or have it be a factor and that's very unusual. People who adopt from overseas often have a very different attitude about having kids of a different ethnicity than those who foster-adopt. It is (sadly) my observation that many overseas adoptive parents treat the kids like a trophy whereas foster parents are often more fiercely loyal and protective.

I could keep rambling. But it would all be in similar veins. I want to foster but I'm waiting until my kids are older. I've thought about the issues with foster kids a lot and I do get why they would feel more appealing to you. (Or at least I can speculate that it might be similar to my own fierce feelings towards foster parents.)

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

It's also worth noting that my father was a Child Protective Services caseworker while I was growing up, so it's partly just nice to see/be around the positive outcomes of the sorts of cases I heard a lot about when I was young and impressionable and all.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

P.S. I do think the fact that many foster-adoptive families are mixed race is a big factor here, you're right.

[teawiththecheat.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed. Hope to see you next time.