This is hard.

[pantryslut]

I figured out what I want to say in regards to misia's amazing"No pity/no shame/no silence" post about sexual violence:

1. My bowl holds water.

2. I am still angriest at those (including, unfortunately, other survivors) who have said or implied that somehow, some way, what happened to me doesn't count. I am beyond angry and edging toward murderously furious, in fact. I may not have been physically hurt, but I was confused and unhappy and all I found at the time was pity or dismissal and that's what hurts, still. That's what hurts most.

3. I still don't want your pity, or your sympathy. I'm OK without it now. See #1.

Comments

[danaeris.livejournal.com]

I don't know what happened to you, but I have had the same experience you have had in number 2. It made me feel abandoned when I most needed support. More power to all of us who have suffered sexual violence, even if some others feel a need to invalidate the pain we suffered.

[postmaudlin.livejournal.com]

I'm confused by what in the thread made you feel invalidated in any way -- please tell me. I thought it was pretty open. Do you mean societally? Or here on LJ?

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

It was nothing on the thread -- the thread was great. I was referring to specific people and incidents in my past.

[postmaudlin.livejournal.com]

Ah. Sorry to misunderstand. I've had similar experiences to what I imagine you mean.

We can be the worst to each other

[manomano.livejournal.com]

It is a well-commented on phenomena, that oppressed groups or victimized groups can be the worst to each other. Women are often thought to be the hardest on women. The Left in the U.S. excels at tearing itself apart. And of course, we survivors can be horrendous to each other, weighing and comparing victimization, and deciding who really wasn't a survivor, despite what they said.

I'm sorry that happened to you. The people who deserve to be attacked are the preps and those who encourage them.