but I'm *always* cranky.
Oct. 21st, 2005 10:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pantryslut[Do I need to put a disclaimer here? Oh, OK. This post is raunchy. No cut tag. Proceed as always at your own risk.]
This week's crankiness involves the HBO mini-series Rome.
First things first: I only caught maybe half an episode of Rome on the hotel TV in LA last weekend, so really, I am talking out of my ass here. The episode featured the much-trumpeted debut of Cleopatra: newer, younger, grittier, shorter hair, more opium.
But just as much sex. Specifically, with a generic Roman guard who earlier was saying, "Dude, she wants me. I can tell." OK, maybe he didn't say "dude." But the rest of it is true. (She, being Greek and therefore from the mystical East, knows exactly when she's fertile and is using generic guard to impregnate her with "Caesar's" son-to-be. Somehow she seems preternaturally assured it'll be a son, too, I guess 'cuz the guard is so studly. Anyway.)
So we get a sex scene with lithe young buzzcut Cleopatra bouncing on the lap of her guard. Groundbreaking television!
Now, see, if this were really groundbreaking TV, and we really had progressed to the place where sex and storytelling are seamlessly melded, we would have had a slightly different scene, slightly later in the narrative.
Cleopatra wouldn't be fucking her studly guard; she'd be fucking Caesar himself. She would be bent over a chair -- ooh, maybe even a throne, for that extra frission -- and he would be schtupping her from behind. At one point, she would ease away from him, turn around, and say,
"Julius, this is delightful and all, but if you want a son, you should use the other hole." Then she would reach back and guide him inside her again.
This week's crankiness involves the HBO mini-series Rome.
First things first: I only caught maybe half an episode of Rome on the hotel TV in LA last weekend, so really, I am talking out of my ass here. The episode featured the much-trumpeted debut of Cleopatra: newer, younger, grittier, shorter hair, more opium.
But just as much sex. Specifically, with a generic Roman guard who earlier was saying, "Dude, she wants me. I can tell." OK, maybe he didn't say "dude." But the rest of it is true. (She, being Greek and therefore from the mystical East, knows exactly when she's fertile and is using generic guard to impregnate her with "Caesar's" son-to-be. Somehow she seems preternaturally assured it'll be a son, too, I guess 'cuz the guard is so studly. Anyway.)
So we get a sex scene with lithe young buzzcut Cleopatra bouncing on the lap of her guard. Groundbreaking television!
Now, see, if this were really groundbreaking TV, and we really had progressed to the place where sex and storytelling are seamlessly melded, we would have had a slightly different scene, slightly later in the narrative.
Cleopatra wouldn't be fucking her studly guard; she'd be fucking Caesar himself. She would be bent over a chair -- ooh, maybe even a throne, for that extra frission -- and he would be schtupping her from behind. At one point, she would ease away from him, turn around, and say,
"Julius, this is delightful and all, but if you want a son, you should use the other hole." Then she would reach back and guide him inside her again.
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-21 05:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-21 05:54 pm (UTC)Fits with Last Tango in some ways.
http://www.sensesofcinema.com/contents/04/30/je_taime_moi_non_plus.html
no subject
Date: 2005-10-23 01:20 am (UTC)"Julius, this is delightful and all, but if you want a son, you should use the other hole."
ROFL
btw - I found your LJ thru debbieann. I'm friending you, and hope you'll return the favor. I look forward to seeing you at dim sum.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-23 09:17 pm (UTC)