(no subject)

[pantryslut]

I'm sure that this has been said before, but...

The problem with flirting with girls outside of a butch-femme dynamic is this: when they compliment you on your appearance, are they hitting on you, or are they merely offering sisterly support?

Comments

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

pain in the ass, isn't it?

[lifeasjuicy.livejournal.com]

I try to read energy through eye-contact, but I don't think there is any sure way to know. I'd say that if you are interested, you need to follow-up, send out some signals yourself and gauge response.

Also, I often compliment just because I mean it and flirt with people for the sake of flirting without any intention of follow-through.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I tend to assume all flirtation is friendly without any intention of follow-through :) I think this may be less than optimal as a strategy in the long run, though.

[badgerbag.livejournal.com]

I think more of a protocol should be established... like, move in a little closer than usual, pick up the necklace or get right up to the earrings or whatever thing you're complimenting. Longer than usual eye contact... perhaps admiring the shoes while putting your foot up to hers and pressing your thigh up against hers. anyway... "you look great" or "nice outfit" will not do. One must compliment the velvety dress or attractively rough carpenter pants and then feel the fabric. While leering. Leering is crucial.

I have had good luck with "My god! You look so insanely squeezable!" - then squeezing. If there is lots of giggling and melting-into-one's arms, then prolong the squeeze or invite her onto your lap. If not then it is just a hug. But what if someone is flirting but just isn't into that sort of insane PDA? (PDF?)

Isn't it funny how we have this perfectly serviceable thing called language... but we need body language and signals because they're more ambiguous, maybe.

I was just thinking the other day that 15 years ago I expected we would all be having casual girl sex all over the place. But it doesn't seem to be all that much easier. The hanky code did not help so much as one would think. Perhaps some more girl-on-girl flirting classes. Actually it should be called "Flirting and Followthrough"...

No wait. I have had afternoon coffee and can't stop typing. I have a great idea. Life should be like musicals, all the time. So when mutual flirting happened, everyone around the flirters would magically sense it and would burst into song and a group dance number...

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

"Flirting and Follow-Through" would be a most excellent class and I would totally take it.

[black-pearl-10.livejournal.com]

Who you callin' "girl"?
I'm a tomboy.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Tomboys are even harder to read. B/c sometimes they're just startled that you clean up so nice.

*giggles*

[psybelle.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah...

(assuming, of course that I can substitute "one" for "you"...)

...and I'm planning on doing my annual high femme production for tomorrow night. We'll see what happens with that!

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

It's also really sodding annoying when every signal your home culture has carefully dinned into you for "I am paying attention to what you say and taking you seriously" seems to read as "I am flirting like hell" most other places in the English-speaking world.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Hm. Like what?