useless whine/party game

[pantryslut]

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate writing bio notes?

This is one of those things people aren't allowed to complain about, because it means, after all, that I've had something published that requires a bio note. It's the whine of success, and that's never attractive. But I really hate it. They all sound so dry. I don't want to be the fifteenth person in whatever anthology to mention their cats, either. And I have no idea what people might want to know about me (except where to see more of my stuff).

I hate this process so much, in fact, that I've intermittently threatened to coerce my friends into writing my bio notes for me. Maybe as a party game.

What better place than here?

If you want to play: write a bio note for me in the comments section. It doesn't have to be true. It might be better if it's not true. You don't even have to know me very well. It might be better if you don't.

Everyone's invited to play. Go on, tell me who I am!

Here's the one I wrote this morning, just to start things rolling:

"Lori S. has put worse things in her mouth."

Comments

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i read a story once that was made up of bio notes and letters to and from publishers about the bio notes. i think it was michael swanwick who wrote it. very funny, anyhow.

bio

[(Anonymous)]

Lori reads more science fiction than is humanly possible. Her travel books are from places most people can not find on a map. Lori is also a master meal planner and she knows the secret to pesto.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

If you are reading this special Lori S bio it means that you are an instant winner! Please contact the publisher for your cash prize!

[brooksmoses]

Lori S. uses, as her sole usericon in her online journal, a picture of the lower half of her face with her tounge stuck out at the reader. She also attempts to coerce her friends into writing her biographical notes, much to their small amusement.

Enh; I seem to not really be getting much past the obvious, although the comment on the icon is a serious suggestion.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

At least you knew it was my face. I was somewhat startled when someone suggested (at the LJ party at Wiscon) that it wasn't. "I just don't see that many grown-ups who stick their tongues out much," was the semi-sheepish explanation.

As I've said before, it was either that or the one from the same shoot where I'm sticking a cigar up my nose.

[fattest.livejournal.com]

Lori S has one fine ass.

[tgeller.livejournal.com]

Birds suddenly appear every time she is near.

bios

[badgerbag.livejournal.com]

I hate writing them too. If I knew who you were I'd write you a silly one. It seems like I might know you, given the Wiscon and the Pervs Put Out. 8-)

Lori S: Everyone thinks they know her from somewhere, and they're probably right.

[bigsockgrrl.livejournal.com]

Lori S. will spank the shit out of you if you ask nicely, is willing to wear skirts for the sake of porn, and often travels to Alcatraz in search of ghosts. She lives in Northern California with her iguana, a Jewish intellectual, and enough books to build another house out of. Perhaps she'll do that now that she's done writing *insert name of publication here*.