What prompted this: I just read a post by some dude who declared that checklists are "a must", and I am feeling mighty contrary. He was so proud of himself for giving his slaves checklists even in the middle of the relationship! Wow! "The checklist of the submissive is her consent."
I just sent a customized checklist last week; in part it was helpful, mostly, i sent it for frustrating busywork and psychout -- options like : i like feeling useless/ helpless/ embarrassed/humiliated.
I like checklists for reminders, because I have a shitty memory. It's like my grocery list: I almost always get *more* stuff than is on my list, but there's specific things that I want to be sure to remember.
I find checklists to be about as unromantic and unsexy as one can possibly get.
However, they do have a very powerful use for me: they serve as a filter. If someone wants me to fill out a checklist before we play, I know that we don't belong with each other.
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pantryslut
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 09:19 pm (UTC)What prompted this: I just read a post by some dude who declared that checklists are "a must", and I am feeling mighty contrary. He was so proud of himself for giving his slaves checklists even in the middle of the relationship! Wow! "The checklist of the submissive is her consent."
no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 09:21 pm (UTC)I just sent a customized checklist last week; in part it was helpful, mostly, i sent it for frustrating busywork and psychout -- options like : i like feeling useless/ helpless/ embarrassed/humiliated.
admittedly, there's nuance there...
no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 09:25 pm (UTC)Trust issues there.
Date: 2007-05-09 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 09:59 pm (UTC)("Of course that consent changes over time and has to be constantly renegotiated.")
no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 11:36 pm (UTC)However, they do have a very powerful use for me: they serve as a filter. If someone wants me to fill out a checklist before we play, I know that we don't belong with each other.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 02:56 am (UTC)Well, a pair of them (women, not hearts).
no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 03:07 am (UTC)Then tell us how you feel about safewords.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 05:44 am (UTC)