FAQ

[pantryslut]

In no particular order (and edited from the original to add a few):



How'd you meet the lads?

I met Steven on the first day of college at the University of Chicago. We had moved into the same dorm hours before. He was in the TV lounge, arguing with my roommate's father about pro football (it was a Sunday). My roommate's father, btw, was the football editor for Sports Illustrated.

I met Guy after years of having seen him around the scene -- we had many mutual friends in common, but it took one of those mutual friends inviting us both to dinner at her place to actually get introduced properly to each other.

Which bedroom do you sleep in?

I bed-hop. I have no particular schedule.

Why don't you have a bed of your own?

I chose, due to the space constraints of our place, to have a desk instead. I love my desk. It was the right choice.

Where do you sleep when you want to sleep alone?

I sleep on the couch.

What's your sun tattoo mean?

If I could tell you what it means in words, it would be a poem or a story, not a tattoo :) It's a design of an eclipsed sun, and it represents the sun's "dark side," as it were, and that's all you're going to get from me.

What's the motto on your back tattoo say, the one with the skull?

It says, in Latin, "Oh Death, how bitter it is to be reminded of you."

Do you have any allergies or food sensitivities?

I'm allergic to sulfa drugs, and probably pollen or something. I have no food sensitivities. Too much fat and/or dairy makes my tummy unhappy sometimes.

How about diet restrictions?

Nope. I am omnivorous.

Is there anything you won’t eat or drink?

Probably. None are leaping to mind, though. (I'd even drink Scotch on a bet.)

What is your preferred level of touch upon first meeting people in RL that you have only previously known online?

I like to play it by ear. I am not offended if people do not hug; I am not uncomfortable if people offer, but I do not always accept. I myself retain more than a vestigal amount of Midwestern reserve and generally will not *offer* a hug first.

What are you afraid of?

Bridges. Grates in the sidewalk. Elevators with windows, or glass, or gates instead of doors. Rodents (wild). Dogs (unattended). Wasps.

What's your gender?

Mannish woman. (Butch jello.)

What’s your sexual orientation?

Dissipate.

Can I have sex with you?

This is, contrary to popular belief, not a frequently asked question.

Can I engage in non-genital SM-style play with you?

Maybe.

Can I make out with you?

Maybe.

Can I cuddle with you?

Maybe.

Can I hold hands with you?

Probably.

Can I go to lunch with you?

Most likely.

Where do you work these days?

Palo Alto.

No, I'm sorry, I meant for whom do you work? What's your job these days?

I'm a copy writer. I work for a Very Famous Internet Personals Company. I edit some of their website content.

So it's sex stuff?

Yes, I'm back to sex stuff as a day job.

And it's a full-time day job?

Yes. I work approximately 7:30-4 pm.

How do you get down there if you don't drive?

I carpool with black_pearl_10 and take the train otherwise.

So it's true you don't drive? Why not?

Yes, it's true. I took driver's ed but needed more time on the road that I never bothered to get. I am a very good theoretical driver.

P.S. I don't ride a bike either.

But you're planning to learn, right?

I am planning to learn both how to ride a bike and how to drive. I'm almost there with the bike.

What's the best way to persuade you to do something? What's the best way to persuade you to do something if final_girl isn't available to make puppy eyes at you?

I am very contrary and also very stubborn. The best way is to just ask. Maybe someone else with more experience persuading me could elaborate; otoh, they may not want to give away their secrets.

I'm sure you don't have *a* favorite food, but what is something that you always like?

I'm very food moody, which I make up for by liking many, many things. I can't imagine turning down duck, and turkey (dark meat) is close. I eat a lot of peanut butter.

How about a preferred libation?

I don't drink alcohol very much. I'm trying to cut down on my consumption of Coke. Bubbly water always hits the spot.

Can I have your recipe for [x]?

Yes, of course. Be warned that my recipes, unless I got them from someone else, tend to be rather more about process than strict, measured quantities and such.

You started at one college and finished at another. What happened in there?

I lost my financial aid. Not due to academics, but due to the bait and switch.

How did you get into porn reviewing?

I started by writing up a couple reviews for On Our Backs, when I was working there. Then, when I went freelance, I submitted my resume and clips to AVN. Twice. The second time, they hired me.

When your next book coming out?

Tough Girls 2 is coming out next summer. Since it's an anthology, I don't really think of it as "my book" -- I curated it, but I didn't write it. I have yet to publish a book entirely under my byline.

What are you working on, writing-wise, these days?

I have a thing I'm making very slow progress on. I hope to pick up the pace this summer.

What other big projects do you have planned?

I'm still WisCon programming chair for next year. I also still co-run Perverts Put Out! In theory, I'm still working on a braces benefit. And maybe kinda sorta doing Pillow Fight Club.

Speaking of braces, how's your mouth? How long do you have to go?

My mouth is in serious bondage these days, with chains and rubber bands and everything. I have about a year to go. It's already made a big difference in my bite, and for that I am grateful.

And speaking of big projects, how’s that thing about getting knocked up going?

You'll know when there's any news, because black_pearl_10 is likely to take a full page ad out in the local paper or something, he'll be so excited.



Any more questions? Go ahead and ask!

Comments

[19-crows.livejournal.com]

Speaking of the knocking up project, is black_pearl_10 your only partner in this?

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[black-pearl-10.livejournal.com]

Yay! Sperm roulette!

Can you imagine not doing a genetics test? imnotandrei and I standing at each leg waiting to see which one of us the kid looks like.

HOW KINKY IS IT'S HAIR???!!!

(I think there's a story to write)

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

You write it :)

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

Um, lots of kids are born bald, you know. (And those blue eyes are going to *really* screw you up. Bwahahahaaaa.)

[imnotandrei.livejournal.com]

HOW KINKY IS IT'S HAIR???!!!

a) Given how kinky the parents are, I suspect it'll be kinky. Now, how much curl it'll have is different. ;)

b) Strange are the wonders of genetics. My dad has extremely tightly curled hair -- could've been a Jewfro. So you never know.

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

Any more questions? Go ahead and ask!

Can I have sex with you?
This is, contrary to popular belief, not a frequently asked question.

That doesn't count as an answer. *g* Are you promising to *answer* the questions we pose?

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Are you promising to *answer* the questions we pose?

Yup. But as noted, nobody actually asked that particular question.

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

Um? "not frequently asked" is so much not the same thing as "never asked". As I know perfectly well that you know perfectly well. ;)

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

True.

Still, it remains an infrequently asked question in general as well. At least in that form.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

That meeting Steven story is perfect!

[abostick59.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

Followup question: who was right, the roommate's father, or Steven?

(I know which way I'm betting)

[abostick59.livejournal.com]

never mind

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

As I said to genderfur, it was a subjective matter, with no right or wrong answer. Steven had, IMHO, a substantiated position.

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

Molto things:

Thing One: He was in the TV lounge, arguing with my roommate's father about pro football (it was a Sunday). My roommate's father, btw, was the football editor for Sports Illustrated.

When Steven told me this story, he said that he'd been right. Would you agree (and if so, wouldn't you agree that it's a good detail to add to that story)?

Thing Two: What is your preferred level of touch upon fist meeting people in RL

It's a *great* malaprop, but I think perhaps you meant a different word?

Thing Three: What are you afraid of?

How afraid is afraid? Cautious and alert? Alarmed enough to avoid them? Nightmares? Morbid enjoyment of disaster tv shows about them?

Thing Four: I eat a lot of peanut butter.

What do you think of other nut butters?

Thing Five: are you going to keep adding new items to the middle of the list? Are you doing that to check our comprehension? To mess with us? Or did it just happen that way? Or what?

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

#1: It was a subjective thing they were arguing; there is no "wrong" or "right." I think Steven had a valid and substantiated opinion.

#2: Fixed :)

#3: Alarmed and avoidant. (Wasps should also be on that list.)

#4: They don't spin my wheels so much, but they're a nice occasional treat.

#5: It just happened that way. Plus it *is* fun messing with folks. It's like a scavenger hunt! But mostly it was about logical flow of information.

[black-pearl-10.livejournal.com]

Steven would argue with Satan that Hell wasn't hot enough. :)

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

OK, I'm nosy - if you're aiming for a particular daddy, how was this decided? (Reproductive decisions in poly families are always interesting.) Was it a coin-flip kinda thing, will you eventually be trying for one from each or what?

Fingers crossed for you!

("Sperm roulette" is my new favorite phrase of the day, BTW.)

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

This should probably be on the FAQ too :)

Guy wanted kids. I wanted kids. I expressed to Steven in a lighthearted way the perversity and unfairness of the universe in throwing Guy and I together, when I wanted kids and he wanted kids and I was married to (and living with) Steven, who was ambivalent on the kid issue, and just dating (and not living with) Guy.

Steven said, well, maybe you could have kids with Guy, if he wants to with you.

And I said, sleep on that and if you say it again to me in the morning and mean it, I will broach the subject with Guy.

He did, and I did, and Guy was floored, and happy, and floored. And we started making slow, measured, considered arrangements toward living together and getting a washing machine and all that sort of stuff.

I don't think I will be trying for any other kids after this.

[imnotandrei.livejournal.com]

Very short form, to complement Lori's long form:

I don't have any faith in my skills as a dad. I think I'll make a hell of an "uncle". ;)

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

*koff*

[panjianlien.livejournal.com]

This makes me want to write a limerick that begins "There was an avuncular Steven..."

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

...although you've got to admit, the picture of the two of you standing in the delivery room in make-a-wish position, waiting for the verdict...

[marrythebed.livejournal.com]

question - mind if I add you, even though my journal isn't worth reading? I'm interested in porn and food (not in that order) so I would like to add you.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I don't mind at all!