Just For The Social Record

[pantryslut]

For the record, I am a good listener and super curious about everything and always want to hear all about it. This is why LJ has been so very good to me.

However, I am also shy, so how/when to ask the questions to start these convos often escapes me.

Sorry.

To top off this little social sundae, I was raised by wolves...er, by graduate students who were too busy raising four kids plus pursuing their theses to actually, you know, have any friends. (At least once they stopped smoking pot.)* So I really have no idea how to make polite conversation. Even sincere polite conversation, much less small talk. I wasn't acculturated into any form or style of interaction. I wasn't acculturated at all...

I'm really good at answering questions, though, if that helps. And no subject of conversation is ever inappropriate around me :)



* Which happened, at my best estimates, around when my brother was born, so I was six. I was young enough and they were circumspect enough that I don't actually have any memories of them indulging, only circumstantial evidence. And a cute anecdote about my dad's hospital intake and my mom's shame, but even that's second-hand.

Comments

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I wasn't asking for help.

Otherwise, what G. said stands for me, too.

See also what I said to serenejournal, above.

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

Weren't you? Were you just saying "This is how I am, and I have no intention of changing"? 'Coz that's not how it sounded. It sounded like you've noticed a pattern that puzzled you.

I'm really good at answering questions, though, if that helps.

It helps a little. But other people are shy too. It helps if you share the work of the conversation by asking some questions too.

(And that bit where I said "I never feel particularly greeted" -- I meant that in a literal way. You may be hella glad to see me, but I can't tell.)

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I said I wasn't asking for help, I titled this post "for the social record," and I asked exactly zero questions in the post text. If this isn't enough evidence for you that I wasn't asking for help, I don't know what might be. I am frustrated at not being taken at my word here.

Further, there is a distinction between "I want to change this" and "I want/need help to change." As it happens, I don't yet know if I want to change it, but even if I do, I know I don't need or want any help. I know what I need to do, I know how to do it, I just need to get over my shit. Or not, if I decide it isn't worth the time and effort. We'll see.

As for greeting -- I am often distracted, busy, sleepy, or otherwise preoccupied when you arrive, as noted earlier. I am also not the most emotionally effusive person ever. If I let you over the threshhold, you are welcome in my house. If you (or anyone else) require(s) more reinforcement, I am probably not a good person to give it and you will probably be disappointed. Is this, too, something I might want to change? Maybe. Do I need help or advice on how? No.

[genderfur.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the direct answers. I do appreciate that.