(no subject)
Oct. 10th, 2007 08:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I like the Can I Sit With You project, and I encourage people to submit.
I'm not going to, though.
Because I honestly don't have any stories, just a vague sense of unease. I'm pretty sure I was teased at such an early age that I don't even remember the specifics, because they are from before the time that memory really takes hold, i.e. three or four years old. I was a pretty self-contained kid by the time I was in first grade. There was something about me that made people keep their distance, for good and for ill. I had a few friends, mostly geeky boys. Sometime around fifth grade and probably via Girl Scouts, I tried being friends with girls but I didn't *get* girls or, especially, girly things, so it never quite clicked. I went back to hanging out with boys. Once in a while someone would try to tease me directly, and I would beat them up. It only took once or twice, and then folks more or less left me alone. Which is what I wanted. So.
I know I was teased at some point. I have absolutely vicious and unrelenting (and very effective) defensive strategies and feelings around the issue. But I don't remember any specifics at all. At all. And I don't think this is a traumatic block, I think it was an unrealized threat. Mostly, I remember being separate, and alone. Whether I wanted it (and sometimes I did), or not.
I'm not going to, though.
Because I honestly don't have any stories, just a vague sense of unease. I'm pretty sure I was teased at such an early age that I don't even remember the specifics, because they are from before the time that memory really takes hold, i.e. three or four years old. I was a pretty self-contained kid by the time I was in first grade. There was something about me that made people keep their distance, for good and for ill. I had a few friends, mostly geeky boys. Sometime around fifth grade and probably via Girl Scouts, I tried being friends with girls but I didn't *get* girls or, especially, girly things, so it never quite clicked. I went back to hanging out with boys. Once in a while someone would try to tease me directly, and I would beat them up. It only took once or twice, and then folks more or less left me alone. Which is what I wanted. So.
I know I was teased at some point. I have absolutely vicious and unrelenting (and very effective) defensive strategies and feelings around the issue. But I don't remember any specifics at all. At all. And I don't think this is a traumatic block, I think it was an unrealized threat. Mostly, I remember being separate, and alone. Whether I wanted it (and sometimes I did), or not.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 03:52 pm (UTC)just my 2 cents.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 09:59 pm (UTC)I was tortured as a child (fat girl with glasses... the trifecta) and I know it caused damage that could never be repaired. None of my children have ever been forced into a situation where they would be at the mercy of unrestrained peers... they each started attending school (at the community college level) in their early teens, on their own initiative. They have all witnessed bullying and teasing, and each have at one point or another stood up for the victim, something that makes me very proud of them.
This wasn't our only reason to homeschool, but it certainly was one of the main ones for me.